When Brokenness Dampens the Most Wonderful Time of the Year
“It’s the most wonderful time of the year,” according to the iconic song sung by Andy Williams that made its debut in 1963.
Or is it?
This is the time of year when we acknowledge what we’re thankful for on the fourth Thursday in November. And then one month later, we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. To the Christ follower, especially, these days are vital as we remember ultimately what we are thankful for: the gift of a Savior and His sacrifice made for sinners as we do life in a fallen, broken world.
After all, we DO have reason to celebrate with joy and gratitude. Jesus is the giver of life (see John 10:10 and 14:6). He truly is our source of joy (Romans 15:13). He gives our hearts hope when we are fresh out of it on our own accord (Romans 42:11).
But sometimes the brokenness around us can dampen the holidays, making the days feel so heavy. This is especially true when the traditional family gatherings include splintered or broken family relationships.
What is brokenness? It can have multiple meanings:
For the sake of this blog post, we’ll discuss the emotional pain and strain that comes with broken relationships with family and friends. It goes without saying that when the holidays involve these types of relationships, the holidays can be filled with dread and hopelessness.
As we examine our hearts this holiday season, knowing that conflict may be present at our gatherings (OR when we don’t have a gathering because brokenness keeps loved ones away), it’s vital to remember that God still wants to use this source of pain in our lives. He wastes nothing.
What does He desire for us when it pertains to conflict?
To win your brother or sister to Christ
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15)
To be an ambassador of Christ
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)
To be an aroma of Christ
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? (2 Corinthians 2:14-16)
As believers, we have the power of the Holy Spirit indwelling us. He is the peacemaker, which gives us the ability to preserve peace. But how do we do that?
It’s clear in Scripture that it’s important for Christ followers to be peace seekers.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:18)
Scripture was written in an environment of conflict, so we should expect to find instructions on how to handle conflicts in our present days. God’s Word promises Spirit-given unity, when we’re in the midst of conflict, if we respond obediently.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:3-5)
Scripture makes it clear that our sovereign God accomplishes great purposes for His children in conflict as they respond in humble obedience.
Here is what God is doing in our hearts as we experience brokenness:
In the coming weeks, we’ll dig into the topic of forgiveness. How do we forgive others who have wronged us just as Christ has forgiven us? If you’re struggling to forgive someone, check back soon as we navigate what Scripture says on this.
Or is it?
This is the time of year when we acknowledge what we’re thankful for on the fourth Thursday in November. And then one month later, we celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ. To the Christ follower, especially, these days are vital as we remember ultimately what we are thankful for: the gift of a Savior and His sacrifice made for sinners as we do life in a fallen, broken world.
After all, we DO have reason to celebrate with joy and gratitude. Jesus is the giver of life (see John 10:10 and 14:6). He truly is our source of joy (Romans 15:13). He gives our hearts hope when we are fresh out of it on our own accord (Romans 42:11).
But sometimes the brokenness around us can dampen the holidays, making the days feel so heavy. This is especially true when the traditional family gatherings include splintered or broken family relationships.
What is brokenness? It can have multiple meanings:
- Damage: the state of not being able to function properly
- Emotional pain: a state of pain that is a barrier to living a normal, healthy life
- Messiness: a state of imperfection
- Physical weakness: the state of one’s body when it’s not functioning properly
- Financial: a state of debt and financial ruin
For the sake of this blog post, we’ll discuss the emotional pain and strain that comes with broken relationships with family and friends. It goes without saying that when the holidays involve these types of relationships, the holidays can be filled with dread and hopelessness.
As we examine our hearts this holiday season, knowing that conflict may be present at our gatherings (OR when we don’t have a gathering because brokenness keeps loved ones away), it’s vital to remember that God still wants to use this source of pain in our lives. He wastes nothing.
What does He desire for us when it pertains to conflict?
To win your brother or sister to Christ
If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15)
To be an ambassador of Christ
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17-21)
To be an aroma of Christ
But thanks be to God, who in Christ always leads us in triumphal procession, and through us spreads the fragrance of the knowledge of him everywhere. For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing, to one a fragrance from death to death, to the other a fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things? (2 Corinthians 2:14-16)
As believers, we have the power of the Holy Spirit indwelling us. He is the peacemaker, which gives us the ability to preserve peace. But how do we do that?
It’s clear in Scripture that it’s important for Christ followers to be peace seekers.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. (Romans 12:18)
Scripture was written in an environment of conflict, so we should expect to find instructions on how to handle conflicts in our present days. God’s Word promises Spirit-given unity, when we’re in the midst of conflict, if we respond obediently.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. (Matthew 7:3-5)
Scripture makes it clear that our sovereign God accomplishes great purposes for His children in conflict as they respond in humble obedience.
Here is what God is doing in our hearts as we experience brokenness:
- glorifying Himself manifesting Christ: And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. (Romans 8:28-29)
- changing you: purify your heart and hands and your humility of mind toward others (see James 4:1-10)
- influencing change in others: And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:24-26)
In the coming weeks, we’ll dig into the topic of forgiveness. How do we forgive others who have wronged us just as Christ has forgiven us? If you’re struggling to forgive someone, check back soon as we navigate what Scripture says on this.
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