3 Ways to be Present This Christmas

A friend asked me the other day, “What was the best Christmas gift you received as a child?” Reflecting on my childhood Christmases, I remember receiving great gifts like a bike, a PlayStation 2, and loads of video games.

However, presents weren’t the first thing to pop into my mind. Rather, I remembered specific moments I had with people. My fondest memories include eating and listening to stories around my grandparents' table, lounging in the living room watching The Santa Clause (laughing every year like it was the first time we had seen it), and lighting Advent candles on Christmas Eve. If this sounds idyllic, you are right; it does, but don’t be deceived. Mixed in with the good food and laughs was fighting at the dining room table, the constant nagging of my sister and me to open presents, and people we loved missing at the table. As I look back, though, I have noticed that what time seems to do is bring what’s most important to the forefront and push aside the things that are fleeting. What I value the most now is the presence of being with people I love and who love me, not the presents.

Presence is powerful, and I think all of us would agree it is one of the most anticipated gifts during the Christmas season. This is most evident and felt when someone we love is not at the table or in the Lazy Boy on Christmas. Here is the thing, though: while we might agree on the importance of being present, it is not just something that happens naturally. It takes thought, planning, and intentionality. With that in mind, I want to encourage you this Christmas to do three things to help you and your family be more present this Christmas season.  

1. Put your phone away
One thing that most of us didn’t have to deal with growing up was smartphones. Now, you’d be hard-pressed to find someone without a phone in their hand or at least within arm’s reach at all times. These devices distract us and pull our attention away from the people around us. I want to challenge you, me included, to put your phone away this Christmas.

When eating a meal, have everyone put their phone in a basket away from the table. When opening presents, designate one photographer and have everyone else put their phone in the basket. Even as you watch football or your favorite Christmas movie, choose to be present and put your phone in another room. Make it a priority to be with the people in the room.

2. Take a break from social media
A great way to be intentionally present with people this Christmas is to take a break from social media. One way you could do this as a family is to commit to staying off social media starting at the Christmas Eve service you attend until the day after Christmas.

Not only will a break help you to be more present with others, but it will also help you enjoy the holidays more. When we scroll through social media, especially on holidays, our hearts are tempted to be jealous of others and their “picture-perfect” Christmas. Take a break and enjoy the Christmas God has provided for you, no matter how small or broken it appears.

3. Ask good questions and listen
One of the best gifts we can give our families and friends this Christmas is to listen. Ask your family how they are doing, what their favorite part of this season is, how they are dealing with a change in their life, or what they are learning at church. But don’t just ask good questions. Be a good listener. Don’t feel the need to share what's going on with you or your opinion. Just listen.

Each of our Christmas holidays will look different. Some will be full of joy, others will be marked by grieving, and most will be somewhere in between. No matter the circumstances for you this Christmas, give the gift we really all desire: presence.

Merry Christmas!